Let’s face it. There are a lot of reasons to dislike spending your time trying to meet women in bars and clubs.
Huge cover charges. Bouncers treating you like dirt. Loud music. Crowded dancefloors. Drunk girls. Drunk girls’ annoying friends. Random dudes trying to start fights. Oh, and the queues. So many queues…
Still, a lot of guys persist with the bar scene even when they don’t like it because they think it’s their best chance of meeting a great woman. You aren’t still dating in college, you have more options now!
Indeed, in most parts of the world, the best way to meet a lot of gorgeous women is to head to the most happening bar or nightclub in town. There’s probably nowhere else you’ll discover a greater volume of attractive women in one night, outside of online dating websites (and there are plenty of reasons to hate these too).
However, there is another incredibly obvious method of meeting women that most guys don’t even consider.
This method eliminates all the flaws of meeting women in bars and nightclubs. And unless you’re an incredibly good-looking dude, it’s likely to prove more effective than online dating too.
That method is: talking to women whenever you see them.
If you’re out shopping and you spot an attractive woman, go and talk to her. If you’re enjoying a grande caramel frappuccino in Starbucks and a hottie walks in, introduce yourself. If you notice a group of excitable women who are on their way to the club, stop them and say hi.
It might sound impossible to you for whatever reason. But my dating life has been getting better and better ever since I made the decision to start doing this.
In this guide, I will explore the reasons why this works so well, debunk the excuses that may stop you from doing it and offer a quick step-by-step guide to help you approach women effectively whenever you meet them.
So, let’s dive straight into it.
Why “daygame” is so effective
The art of meeting and flirting with women wherever you see them is commonly labeled as “daygame” because you’re essentially “running game” during the daytime (as opposed to in nightclubs or online).
Let’s list some of the reasons why this might be a more effective way to meet women than going to bars or swiping on dating apps.
- This is the best way to show off your personality. There are many personality traits that women find incredibly attractive (and arguably a lot more compelling than good looks). These include confidence, charisma, assertiveness, bravery, adventurousness. You can demonstrate all of these traits just by approaching her in a smooth way as she goes about her day. Then, you can easily show off all the other positive aspects of your personality by talking to her. Now, compare that to a noisy nightclub or a Tinder conversation. How easy is it to show off your full personality in these situations?
- It puts you to the front of the queue. If she’s an attractive woman, you can bet there are hundreds of guys in her Tinder and Instagram DMs who want her attention. Whenever she goes to the club, it’s likely that most of the single men will want to take her home (and plenty of them will have enough Dutch courage to try). There’s a huge waiting list for her attention in these environments and it’s so easy to be ignored. But by approaching her in a shopping mall or a cafe, you put yourself at the front of this queue.
- It makes you stand out in a positive way. The fact that most guys aren’t brave enough to even consider approaching her like this will capture her interest, more often than not. Guys who are especially interested in finding and meeting a single cougar need to be able to stand out.
How to effectively approach a woman during the day
Here are three basic steps to follow when approaching a woman as she goes about her day. Follow these steps to give yourself the best chance of swapping contact details with the intention of meeting again for a date.
- Make your intentions clear. It’s best to make your intentions clear within a few moments of stopping her and introducing yourself. If you don’t, she is going to wonder why you have come to talk to her in this unorthodox place. This is going to make her uncomfortable. You don’t have to be overly aggressive or lewd when stating your intentions, but it’s important she knows why you’re there.
- Get to know her and tell her about yourself. A great way of doing this is by making playful assumptions about what she likes to do, based on her appearance. This is far more engaging than asking her a ton of questions. Tell her about yourself too. Try and frame this conversation as you finding out whether she’s interesting, rather than you trying to impress her.
- Swap contact details. If there’s chemistry between the two of you, tell her you’d like to take her on a date. If she agrees that might be a good idea, pull out your phone out and ask for her contact details.
Your excuses busted
- It’s weird and creepy. Creepiness is subjective. You can dramatically reduce your chances of being perceived as creepy by being direct, non-hesitant, honest, respectful, and empathetic at all times.
- It’s rude. It’s catcalling. I’m recommending stopping a woman, offering her a sincere compliment, and attempting to continue a conversation. Lewd or overly sexual comments aren’t recommended.
- She looks busy. Sometimes she will be too busy to talk to you. There’s only one way to truly find out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If the woman of your dreams wanted to talk to you, how likely is it that you’d be too busy for that opportunity? In most cases, you’d probably drop everything. Why would she not do the same for you?
- I’m too shy or nervous to pull this off. Most excuses are made to cover up this real reason to not approach a woman. It’s completely normal to feel nervous at this moment. However, there’s nothing to be afraid of other than the mild sting of rejection. If you approach nervously, it’s less likely to work (and more likely to creep her out). However, the more you practice approaching women this way, the easier it becomes to do it smoothly.
I’ve met some of the most gorgeous and amazing women as they were going about their day. And I would definitely encourage you to try it too.