From DINK relationships to friendship marriages, Japan always comes up with some odd ideas around love and relationships. It is back in the news with its new idea of marriage where you get to live like singles. The concept of ‘weekend marriage’ also called ‘separation marriage’ is quite literal as it sounds – you do live separately despite being together. Not in separate beds, not in separate rooms but in completely separate homes! Though this new trend tweaks the whole agenda of marriage, this is how Japanese couples justify why ‘weekend marriages’ are the need of the hour to live happily together yet apart.
“I rarely stay overnight at my wife’s house,” says Hidekazu Takeda, who is already living the ‘weekend marriage’ trend. Hidekazu is married to Hiromi and they have a toddler but the Takeda family doesn’t live under the same roof. Hidekazu, the husband, lives in a separate house about one hour’s drive away from his wife Hiromi’s place. While the toddler lives with his mom, the man visits them 2-3 times a week and does not ‘stay over’ frequently. The idea is to stay together without interfering with each other’s lifestyles or expecting the spouse to change their habits just because y’all are married.
Weekend marriages are getting increasingly preferred, especially among couples who do not want to give up their decades-long lifestyles. Many couples do not welcome the idea of ‘suddenly living together’ with their partners, as is the case of the Takeda family. Hiromi, the gym owner and fitness instructor, leads an active lifestyle and has busy mornings starting at 4:00 every day. On the other hand, Hidekazu, who is a business consultant, prefers a laidback lifestyle starting with slow mornings. He begins his day at 7:00 in his PJs and spends most of his time in front of his computer.
There are many couples like this where one would prefer working non-stop doing chores and dealing with business while looking after the child too, whereas the other spouse might simply want to lounge around. This mismatch often leads to stress and loss of freedom, and couples who love and respect each other but can’t stand the lifestyle differences choose to settle for such relationship status quo. With dual-income households becoming increasingly common, women now don’t prefer to compromise on their careers despite the unpaid labor involving chores and childcare. This is the reason the concept of “weekend marriages” is more popular among the women in age group 20-30 with over 86% of them being interested in this marriage style.
Do you agree that love and respect for your partner’s lifestyle are more important in a relationship than living together?
