As the saying goes, you don’t know a real relationship until you are in one, but there are a few signs that your relationship is mature, rather than immature, making it much stronger in the long run. A loving connection with somebody is something that cannot be replaced, as long as it is the right kind of love. Mature relationships are built to last, but immature ones can do more harm than good to those involved.
Here are seven ways to separate a mature relationship from an immature one.
1. Relaxed vs Obsessive
People in mature relationships are able to spend time apart without feeling the need to check up on their partner constantly. They don’t feel the need to be together constantly or feel anxious when they are apart or stay in constant communication. The time they spend together is much more meaningful because they have things to catch up on, rather than forcing constant conversation, even though they have done everything together all day.
2. Feels lucky vs. Taken for Granted
Finding a meaningful connection with someone is an amazing feeling, and in a mature relationship you know how rare this can be to find, so you want to make the most of it and make the other person feel special. If you are in an immature relationship you may feel taken for granted, or maybe you even take your partner for granted and expect too much from them. Keep yourself grounded and remind yourself the reason you love your partner and that you are lucky to have a connection with someone that others crave.
3. Loves you for you vs. Tries to change you
In a mature relationship, you know and understand that your partner has flaws, just as they do you. Accepting your partner’s flaws and loving them regardless is all a part of an adult, mature relationship. If you feel that your partner is constantly trying to change things about you, or if you want them to change things about themselves, this is a tell-tale sign that the relationship is not as mature as you may want it to be.
4. Fulfilling vs. Leaves you wanting more
Feeling as though you are not good enough for your partner or that you want more from the relationship is natural in some relationships, as long as you have an open communication with your partner you can tackle the situation head on and in a mature way in order to fix it. Knowing that your partner will want to fix an issue is an important part of a mature relationship. However, if this is a constant feeling from you or your partner then this is a bad sign. Feeling jealous of other people or other couples is a warning sign that your relationship is neither fulfilling or mature.
5. Fights Fair vs. Throws tantrums
Arguments in a relationship are natural, people disagree all the time, but it’s how you deal with the argument that is an important indicator of how mature your relationship really is. Immature relationships throw tantrums, call names, and sink to low levels just to win the fight. If you can fight like adults and stick to the main issue, then this is a good sign. Listen to the other person’s point of view, speak to them face to face, and keep it off social media, for goodness sake.
6. Easy vs. Difficult
A relationship should be a source of enjoyment, it should be fun and make you happy, without a load of trouble and stress. If you feel like you have to put in a lot of work or that your relationship is much too full of drama, then you may be in an immature relationship, and this may need to be addressed to make the relationship coast a little bit more easily.
7. Trusting vs. Jealous
Jealousy in a relationship is natural, everyone needs a little reassurance from time to time when they feel insecure, no matter what the reason may be. Mature relationships know how to calm and tame jealousy, but in an immature one, it can escalate to extreme levels. This can manifest in snooping through phones for texts and calls, and a series of other inappropriate behaviors. This needs to be addressed as soon as possible so that neither partner feels as though their boundaries have been violated.
Immature relationships are a part of growing up. We need to learn what is right and what is wrong in a relationship so that we can be better and more mature later in life. Yet, immature relationships can occur at any time of life, so it is important that we know how to spot them before the relationship becomes toxic. It may not require a break up to fix these behaviors, but knowing them can be helpful to spark a conversation and make a change for the better.