often it happens that you mistake your attraction towards someone as love. Yeah, that cute guy you saw at your office the other day, just because you can’t stop thinking about him, that does not mean you are in full-blown love with him. The dictionary defines love as a strong feeling of affection, whereas, it defines lust as a strong sexual desire towards someone.
There is nothing wrong with feeling both of them, but first, you must learn to differentiate between the two. So, here are some tips from The Popple that will help you distinguish between the two feelings, from the very beginning of your relationship.
The first meet
When you are falling for someone, you will let the course go slow. There are no feelings of rush inside you because you understand that the person is worth the wait.
In lust, you will be inclined to speed things up because the idea of what you need from that person is right in front of you. There’s not a lot that you will be willing to explore. Your primary focus will be on how the person is looking, and not what they are.
The first date
It will be the most exciting part for you in a relationship. The thrill of the dates, the hunger for conversation and butterflies that you feel in your stomach will be a clear signal that you are falling for that person.
In the case of lust, you will feel a compulsive need to attract that person. Your point of focus will be to impress the person, rather than getting to know them. You will find yourself needing to look good more than wanting to be good for them.
First few conversations
When in love, you two talk about anything and everything. From taking your dog to a walk in the park to some of the life-changing issues. The talking excites you, and it is something that you look forward to every single day.
In lust, the talking is almost always superficial. It’s mostly sexting, and the topics remain very random and spurious. The talk is never about real issues. You don’t have a zeal to learn about your partner’s interests and thoughts.
Picking up the small details
In love, you are keen to notice every little detail about the person. From their likes to dislikes, their past regrets to the big dreams. Knowing all of this comes from your genuine need to learn about that particular person.
When you are lusting towards a particular person, you feel no business knowing everything about them. Your entire focus is on getting their attention and hence, you only pick little things that you can use in your favor.
Sharing your issues
Being genuinely in love with someone will make you share even the most significant problems that you have because you don’t want to hide anything from them. Sharing everything with them seems like the right thing for you to do.
When in lust, you fear being judged and hence, share every tiny detail about your personal life with them. When there’s no emotional connection, the level of insecurity is higher. You don’t want to risk it all at any cost.
The physical relationship thing
Getting intimate with a person you love is nothing short of magic. There is a different kind of intimacy when you are in the relationship for more than physical pleasure. You might not get physical for days and weeks and it will still be okay because there are so many other ways to express those desires.
In lust, the super intoxicating desire to have sex all the time overpowers all that you can think. Moreover, if you start skipping sex, you will have trouble prolonging your relationship, because there is no other way for you to connect with the other person.
The sense of intimacy
Absorbed in love, even the littlest of things can arouse the sense of intimacy in you. Acts like cuddling can be fulfilling because it gets fueled by the innate feelings of love and belonging.
In lust, intimacy does not exist. Cuddling seems like you are cradling some dead weight. You will find yourself asking, “Why aren’t we having sex right now?”
The notion of stability
Full of with communication and commitment, real love is all about having a genuine desire of sharing your life with someone. You feel secure, as you have someone to lean on at all times.
In lust, the fire that fueled your passion dies after some time, and so does the stability. All that’s left is the utter chaos that you two rushed into.
The friendship equation
A widely accepted theory is that the person you are in love with can be your best friend. When you are genuinely in love with someone, all the bonding, sharing, and the goofiness can result in the purest friendship that you have ever experienced.
In lust, there is no room for friendship, because the worldly togetherness never gets a chance to bloom. Like, why would you want to hang out with anyone you don’t even want to share your life with!
The feeling quotient
One thing that everyone can attest to is that true love is unconditional. There is a constant, undeniable and irreversible feeling of being safe at home with the person you love.
Relationships which are based on love are filled with extreme conditions because there is no other way to hold a ground other than those. A feeling of lust is steeped in gratification without concern for anything else.
Readers, are you able to relate yet?
Wait, there’s more!
The will to challenge
When in love, you challenge each other and want the person you love to be better in everything they do. You call them out on their wrong behavior because an honest relationship requires honest and open communication. All effective communication is welcomed and appreciated.
In lust, you are bound to ignore all the problematic scenarios and red flags. You ignore so much of their personality because you don’t want to rock the boat. By sweeping everything under the rug, you convince yourself that everything is fine when it isn’t.
The possibilty of reconciliation
In love, there is no room for grudges or grievances. Love makes you resolve even the biggest of issues. When there’s no communication problem, you can work through anything and everything.
In lust, the ability to bounce back after a fight is non-existent. Even the little issues can be a deal-breaker for people who came together because of the feelings of lust.
Gestures and efforts
In love, the gestures are profoundly personal and intimate. You know everything that there is to know about a person and hence, proceed in the right direction when it comes to doing something for them. The love is enough to guide you through it all.
Whereas in lust, you wish to make your gestures the center of attraction and hence, go big on t