A loving relationship makes us happy. But one that is not makes our life hell. Initially everybody’s relationship goes well, unless you have a bad start to it. We all need that one person with whom we can share are happiness and sadness with, someone with whom you can share your secrets or someone with who you can spend your whole life with.
For some of us it is harder to achieve all of the above, as we hold a perfect picture of our relationship in our heads which sometimes does not match reality. A healthy loving relationship to achieve is not an easy task. It takes the same level of effort that you would need in order to achieve your career goals. It needs Hardcore work!
So read on to know what are the common mistakes we all make in our relationships.
1) Acting “Too” Insecure
When you have just started dating, it’s always good to know for the other person that you feel a little jealous about them. It makes them feel loved and wanted and it’s a perfectly normal feeling. Infact it helps your relationship to grow even deeper. Everybody loves to feel wanted and feels good if someone is a little possessive about them. But if you go overboard with your feelings and start feeling insecure and being possessive all the time, about every friend that your lover has, then it will definitely cause trouble. Make sure to do things in limit and not go overboard with your feelings. Your lover have a life of their own too!
2) Taking things for granted
Sometimes it’s understood if your partner is being unreasonable; that you don’t take those little things too seriously. It’s even healthy to let go of little things and just nod along. But when your partner really feels about an issue and wants you to be involved to be able to solve problems between you too, it’s not right to ignore their thoughts or feelings. It will cause more issues between you two than ever before. Your partner may start to feel like a nobody to to as you always ignore their feelings. It may even create some self-esteem issues for your partner.
3) Asking for too much
As soon as you enter into a relationship, both of you know your duties. Every person has a basic idea of how a relationship works. They spend enough time with you, they care for your needs, they care for the needs of people you love, they don’t complain and more. You should trust your partner that he/she will take care of you like you want it that’s why there’re in a relationship with you, right? So, don’t go ask for much more than that. Some of us enter a relationship hoping that our partner will do everything we ask them to do; because they love us. You cannot as a person to do more than they can just because that person loves you. Asking your partner to leave their friends or spend time with you more than they can give time, or asking them to dress up a certain way or talk a certain way is totally UNACCEPTABLE.
4) Changing them
Trying to change a person NEVER works. A person is what he/she is because of many factors and because he/she has built a certain mindset through so many years of their lives. You fell in love with that person because of who he/she is, then why try to change them? It’s just disrespectful of you to try to change your partner. In love, you need to accept a person however they are. Don’t think, oh but he doesn’t understand this or she’s always nagging me for things. Understand that a relationship comes with quarrels. It doesn’t come with red roses and beautiful fragrances.
5) Keeping Secrets
This is a big trust breaker. Before you go ahead and call your girlfriend crazy, understand why did she become crazy or why does she not trust you at all. Do not keep secrets from your partner. It doesn’t mean that you sit and share every.little.detail. But keeping secrets about things are shouldn’t be kept secret, will cause a major trust issue and not many of us are forgiving. It will make your partner feel that you are a person who has something to hide. And relationships are supposed to be a place of friendship where you don’t hide stuff, right?
6) Not Accepting Differences
We all are different because of our family backgrounds, our schools, our upbringings, genes! So what do we do, when two people who have differences like north and south pole? Most of us, fight. We argue, we laugh at our partners choice of dressing or choice of music or the choice of taste. We feel they are stupid or we judge them and compare them with people who have such choices. We ask them to change it and be more like us. Don’t do it. It’s disrespectful and will only bring bitterness in a relationship.